Our Journey with an Adult Child on the Autism Spectrum

A parent asked:

“I seen this question posted but want to ask it differently. Does anyone have an adult child with ASD 1 that has gone to college, started a career and lives on their own? Thanks in advance.”

As parents, we all have the same hopes and dreams for our children, wanting them to achieve their full potential and live fulfilling lives. This aspiration can feel particularly daunting when your child is on the autism spectrum, especially if they are diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 (ASD 1). Having an adult child with ASD 1 often brings unique challenges, moments of resilience, and a lot of learning along the way. I want to share our journey of seeing our child transition into adulthood, making strides in college, starting a career, and ultimately living independently—an experience that illuminates the paths available for those with ASD.

College Life: Taking the Leap

Our journey began when our child applied to colleges. I remember the nervous anticipation we felt as we sifted through applications and visited campuses. Finding the right fit was crucial for our child, who needed an environment that could support their specific needs while also challenging them academically and socially. We chose a school with a strong support system and resources tailored to students with learning differences.

Moving away from home for the first time is monumental for any young adult, but it can be particularly significant for children on the autism spectrum. There were a lot of nerves on move-in day—both ours and our child’s. We spent time discussing strategies for managing stress, navigating new social environments, and ensuring they had a routine that worked for them.

Residing in a single dorm room provided our child with the independence they craved while also allowing for a controlled environment. Although they had initially expressed an interest in having a roommate, it became clear after a short period that living alone suited them better. This was an important lesson for us: sometimes choosing what feels comfortable is more important than what we might perceive as a normative experience.

Building a Balanced Routine

Throughout their freshman year of college, we focused on developing and maintaining a balanced routine. Our child attended classes, participated in clubs, and engaged in social activities—all while managing their responsibilities at home and work. We emphasized the importance of self-care, ensuring they knew when to carve out time for rest and relaxation. 

Working part-time at a local grocery store provided our child with another piece of this independence puzzle. It offered an opportunity to interact with others, develop a sense of responsibility, and earn a little extra income. From a professional perspective, this job was invaluable, helping them understand work ethics and social dynamics in a corporate environment. It wasn’t without its challenges, of course. There were instances when work-related stress and social anxiety would rear their heads, but these experiences provided rich lessons in resilience.

The Inevitable Challenges

No worthwhile journey comes without challenges, and ours was no exception. Communication around expectations became vital. There were times when they struggled with social interactions, leading to misunderstandings. Frequent check-ins allowed us to talk through these experiences, reinforcing the idea that setbacks were part of the growth process. 

Parents of children with ASD often share similar stories of anxiety and uncertainty when it comes to their child’s future. We have been there, worrying about what would come next: How would they handle driving? What about relationships? The questions flowed endlessly, yet it was essential to remind ourselves always to remain hopeful and supportive.

Presently, we are focusing on driving lessons—a significant milestone for many young adults that can feel particularly daunting for others. While our child has always had some apprehension about getting behind the wheel, they are motivated to conquer this challenge. If you pray or have good vibes to share, we could use all the positivity we can get during these lessons!

Celebrating Achievements

One of the most fulfilling aspects of this journey has been celebrating our child’s achievements, no matter how small. From successfully managing a hectic week of finals to having a breakthrough in social interactions, each milestone deserves recognition. Encouraging them to reflect on their progress has not only boosted their self-confidence but also reinforced our belief in their capabilities.

We continuously remind them that college is not just about academics; it’s also a time to form friendships, learn about oneself, and gather life experiences. With each passing semester, we see growth—a newfound sense of independence and confidence shining through our child, and it fills us with immense pride.

A Future Full of Possibilities

As I reflect on our journey, I am filled with gratitude for the progress we have made. The road has had its challenges, but seeing our child thrive in college, carve out their career path, and navigate living independently leads me to believe in a future full of possibilities. 

For parents in similar situations, know that you are not alone. Focus on your child’s individual needs, advocate for their rights, and celebrate every small step. Every child’s journey is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to independence. 

Through patience, understanding, and an abundance of love, our children can overcome barriers and forge their paths in life. Embrace the journey, cherish the ups and downs, and remember—anything is possible.